My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
