This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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