Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
