We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Welp...herpes.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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