I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
