Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
wow bdsm is so cute
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
