Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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