Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
