i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize