I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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