You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Vodka?
Forever.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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