i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
So much rum. So many feels.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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