Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
My dad is sitting where you rode me
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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