not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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