I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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