Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
