Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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