I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
