Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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