I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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