when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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