Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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