why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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