I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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