I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
