Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I wear drunk well.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
