thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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