I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
