U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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