so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
