I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
