I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
