I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
