Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
