kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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