Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
