Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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