He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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