Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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