he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
