So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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