I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
it hurts more in the daytime
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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