woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
