Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
