you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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