she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
