It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
