no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
This is classic penis vs brain.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
