my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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