Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
