why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
