why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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