His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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