i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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