Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
