Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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